A Plan: How to ruin Sebastian's Day
by BackToBackInLoveWithYou
Summary: It was a perfect day. Now, Ciel just can't have that. So, his twisted, devious little mind whips up a plan to get on the nerves of his favorite demon butler.


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**A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! I know I haven't posted in a very long time...feel free to hate me! Throw things at me, I deserve it. Heavy things, sharp things, make me learn my lesson that I need to regularly update. NOTICE: This is a Black Butler story, so if you are here to read Young Justice or ATLA/LOK, I'm so sorry! I promise I'll write for those too. Also, this is a story dedicated to miss-butler on tumblr. If you like RP blogs and Kuroshitsuji then check her out! She gets great magic anons that are totally hilarious. ****I'm totally not the one sending all of those. Nope, totally not me. Look somewhere else if you want to to find the magic anon.**

**Haha, alright, with that out of the way, on with the story! Review, comment, whatever you want. :)**

Ciel sat quietly in his study, hands folded under his chin; he let out a bored sigh, his azure eyes scanning the room. Everything was in impeccable order. All the books on their shelves, rugs litter free, the mid morning sun beaming beautifully through the open curtains.

"Tch, disgusting." Ciel frowned. How was he supposed to have fun ruining everyone else's day when there was no chaos to be found?

Lazily he pushed himself up off his plush chair and trudged over to to the door, his young mind scheming maliciously.

Meanwhile, in kitchen, Sebastian was dutifully preparing his young master's lunch and afternoon tea. Just as he was putting the kettle on, his keen senses picked up that Ciel had left his study and was working his way down the hall towards the grand staircase. Sebastian continued mixing ingredients in a large metal bowl, only half paying attention to the footfalls of his master.

Moments passed and it became eerily quiet in the mansion. Besides the birds chirping outside, or the occasional sound of the large house settling, nothing could be heard. This could not be good.

Sebastian set down the mixing bowl and swiftly exited the kitchen.

_'What could he be plotting this time?" _the butler wondered as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

It was just like his young master to be into mischief. Whether or not it was intentional, that was another story...

Sebastian quickly found Ciel seated in the parlor, an innocent grin upon his face. But Sebastian was not fooled, he could see the well disguised evil in that expression.

"My Lord," the butler spoke with a light bow.

Ciel continued to smile, not a word escaping his lips. His head lolled to the side, eyes examining the demon before him.

"Do you have need of me, Master?" Sebastian asked.

"No," Ciel replied after a moment, "return to your duties."

With another bow, the butler was gone, and Ciel began his plan. He withdrew a folded piece of parchment from the inside of his jacket, and smirked.

"Now, it's time to put my plan into action."

Sebastian had begun attending to his mixing bowl once more, many thoughts bouncing around inside of his head.

"Sebastian!" he heard his master call.

He groaned slightly in annoyance. Hadn't he just asked if he was needed? Oh well, it mattered not. His master had ordered him, so he must comply. No matter what.

"Yes?"

"Sebastian, I have an order for you." the young boy said. His smile was devious and smug, like a cat who had just caught two canaries.

"Anything you wish, my Lord."

"I'm glad you bring that up. Yes, you must do whatever I order you."

"My orders?" Sebastian questioned.

"I'm getting to that. Follow me. Oh, and bring a shovel." Ciel stated as he made his way out of the parlor and towards the double front doors.

The sun shone brightly, high in the sky. A soft breeze blew through air, gently ruffling the hair of the butler and his master as they walked further and further into an open, grassy field.

"Sebastian, I order you to dig a hole. A deep one." Ciel ordered, pointing to a spot on the ground.

Without a word, Sebastian began to dig in the designated spot. Of course he was curious, but it wasn't his duty to question an order.

With his butler fast at work, Ciel walked over to a shaded area on the edge of the field, once again he withdrew the folded paper.

Unfolding it, the paper held a list Ciel had written. The tittle, " A Plan: How to Ruin Sebastian's Day".

"Step one, finished. Get Sebastian to dig a hole. Not hard at all, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

After a short time the hole was dug to the appropriate depth. Ciel inspected the work, pacing around the rim, dangerously close to the edge. If you looked straight down, you could almost not see the bottom, for it was too dark. The pit was perfectly round, and it looked as if someone had taken a massive cookie cutter and gouged a circle out of the earth.

"This will do." Ciel stated, as he jumped down into the hole.

"Master!" Sebastian called out is shock.

He heard a faint chuckle doming from the darkness.

"Sebastian, I order you to get me out of this hole." Ciel called up from the bottom of the ditch.

However puzzled, he did as he was told. Sebastian slipped down into the darkness as well, scooping up Ciel, and in a single bound, returning to the surface.

He set his master down, and scowled at him.

"Master, why would you do something so foolish?" he inquired.

With a quick shrug of his shoulders, Ciel said, "Oh, no reason." And with that he turned on his heel and began walking back to the manor.

o-o-o-o-o

Later that day, still early enough to be late afternoon, but fast approaching early evening, the young Earl once again sat in his study.

He was looking down at the list of his shenanigans to ruin his demon butler's day.

Ciel crossed off steps one and two.

Get idiot butler to dig a hole.

Have idiot butler get me out of hole. No explanations!

He looked down at step three, his next means of torture.

He rang the bell for Sebastian to come to the study.

Sebastian offered his usual greeting, and awaited instructions from Ciel.

"I have an order for you." He said, not looking at Sebastian's face, but rather examining his fingernails, as if this whole situation bored him to death.

Ciel's eyes snapped up to his butler's face, the corner of his mouth itching to tug upward into a smirk. He refused the urge, however, and kept his expression blank.

"I'm feeling rather bored. For entertainment...you must recite 'in my pants' after you finish your sentences. I'll let you know when I've had enough amusement."

Sebastian keeping his face placid, nodded his head. He was beginning to remember the feeling of murderous intent thanks to the Earl's antics.

"As you wish, My lord...in my pants." He said, feeling a fragment of his dignity slip away.

"Oh, Sebastian, what have you prepared for tonight's dessert?" The young boy asked, barely restraining his smirk.

"I've prepared your favorite, chocolate cake, in my pants." Sebastian sighed.

"So, that's your secret." The Earl sneered.

His butler's lip curled slightly into a scowl.

"A bit cheeky, are we?" Ciel taunted, finally succumbing to his muscles and letting a small, but thoroughly amused smirk spread across his face.

"If you'll excuse me." Sebastian said curtly, heading for the door.

"Ahem." Ciel coughed.

"...In my pants." he grumbled, exiting through the open door.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Dinner had been entertaining to say the very least...many times Ciel had nearly chocked on his food due to the embarrassment he had thrust upon his butler. The other workers in the mansion were puzzled, but could barely contain their laughter as well. Sebastian wore his best forced smile, reminding himself to endure this torment.

Ciel sat on his bed, as he crossed off step three. Eventually, he had let Sebastian off the hook, after he had his fill of the joke. Now on to step four.

Sebastian was sitting in his room, head held in his hands, ebony hair flopping over his face.

Just then he heard Ciel calling for him. Lifting his hear from his hands, his eyes flashed their demonic nature.

"Satan is testing me..." he hissed under his breath.

"What is it?" Sebastian said, in a forced polite tone.

In that moment his eyes widened in shock, his jaw dropping.

Before him was Ciel wearing a short, tight, female nurse's dress, complete with little hat.

"M-Master?" Sebastian spluttered.

Ciel turned around, and bent over slightly at the waist.

"Sebastian," he began, "be honest with me."

There was a pregnant pause, the room completely silent.

"Does this dress make my ass look fat?"

Another pause. Sebastian tried to speak, but seemingly choked on air.

Ciel clutched his stomach, and doubled over in laughter. A few tears leaked from his eyes, and his sides ached. Sebastian's face was _priceless_! Ciel couldn't remember the last time he had ever truly laughed like this.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and said through his teeth, "No, it does not."

Sebastian dismissed himself, feeling a faint redness on his cheeks. He could still hear Ciel's chuckles behind him.

"I borrowed the outfit from Alois, in case you were wondering!" Ciel called, before he was overcome with another wave of laughter.

Sebastian just gritted his teeth and trudged back to his bedroom without another word.

o-o-o-o-o-o

At roughly two in the morning, Sebastian heard the door to his bedroom creak open. He did not move, he simply laid there, waiting.

"Sebastian." he heard Ciel whisper.

He remained silent.

"Strangest thing. It seems every toilet in the mansion is clogged. If you could just-" Ciel began, but was interrupted by a heavy, silver kitchen knife slamming into the door, mere inches from his face.

In that moment he let out a startled yelp, that turned into a hiss and his clamped his jaw shut.

Sebastian appeared not to have moved, but he could sense a dark aura emanating from the demon.

Without so much as another work, Ciel hightailed his way back into his master bedroom.

_"Maybe I should lay off the pranks for a while..." _Ciel thought as he went to sleep.

Because there is nothing more frightening than one hell of a pissed off demon butler.

**A/N: Well, here it is! Miss-butler, I hope you liked it! Sorry it took so long to post, my mom actually made me do things today. Sorry if the story sucked too, I was having total writers block. And, everyone, this is my first Kuro-fic, so be gentle. Sorry if it was OOC, or anything, but the story is meant to be funny, so take it all as a big joke. Disclaimer, yada yada yada...Thanks for reading!**


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